I was playing hide and seek in the woods
with a penguin and my pet dog scruffy...
who had taken to wearing a blazer and a straw boater. I could see this strange shape.......
through the trees in the distance. It was difficult to make out with the fog, i slowly and cautiously walked forward. To my amazement. ....
it was Tom Jones taking a short cut on his way back from the shops with something bulky in his Harrods bag. '' What have you got in there Tom '' I said, whereupon he...................
replied, oh, its not unusual to be.............
shopping on the way home on Friday night
He went on his way and I headed home. I came across a late night walker, we chatted and it seems he had been on a date with a woman he's contacted on a web site. '' Never again '' he said, '' You wouldn't.......................
believe who she went on a date with last week.........Tom Jones!.."well i mean how could i compete with him? but she did mention a strange thing, she said he turned up with a bulky looking Harrods bag but wouldnt say what was in it! Anyway she said she wasnt going to see him again as he kept on talking about his ex, Dehlila!
And suddenly the Penguin found ......
a kit kat and he was well put out, the cheek of it but this didn't stop...............
...the pink hawk from swooping down to snatch it.
and fly it away to the. . . . .
beautiful Isle of man renowned for ....................
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Are you sitting comfortably.....................
Not so long ago, in a town near you, was heard a blood curdling scream when.....................
(over to you)