selling yourself
I suppose it's like applying for a job. A candidate might look good on paper, but it's only when you have them in front of you that you know if you want them for the job. All we can do is pray for God's guidance and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts. I think that you and others are already selling yourselves without actually trying. With your posts, so many of you are coming across as friendly, funny and fun to be around.
Jane, I think you've almost answered your own question. A website like this isn't about sealing the deal, it's about getting introductions to people you may want to get to know better.
I often find myself saying to newcomers, you don't know anything about somebody you get to know through online dating until you've been with them long enough to see whether they can eat with a knife and fork without harming themselves and have got close enough to them to tell whether they have a bath once a month. Which sounds daft, but underlines the point that it's possible to take a lot of things for granted when getting to know somebody in the ether.
After reading some profiles recently that read like a complete CV and life-story, I'm beginning to think that "selling oneself" is not as appropriate a paradigm as "inviting people to a viewing". A good dating profile should give the reader enough information to have an idea of who you are and what you stand for, whilst opening up the possibility for them to ask all kinds of questions that would let them get to know you better - i.e. they have seen a brief description and now they want to take a closer look.
ha ha ha Jeremy ...that bit about the knife and fork really made me chuckle :))
now i haven't gone into much detail on my profile because im guessing if someone doesn't like my photo they are not really gonna care if i like cats or dogs ..or walking on the beach in winter ...or my passion for Lancaster bombers and spitfires ! ( might add that one and find a fellow plane geek ! ) .........but do you get me ? like a photo then drop a line maybe ....and ask how often they wash ?? :)
Au contraire, Deborah, I think you ought to include that information, as it makes you stand out as uniquely you. You're not like everybody else, so don't present a profile that gives that impression. The "Lancasters and Spitfires" bit reminds me of a lady friend who I consider fascinating for her interest in everything in the world around her (except her thing with Wicca, which I can leave!). And if a chap is interested in planes too, he knows he'll be on safe ground inviting you to an air show/museum for a date. :o)
It's not all about your photo. Sure, looks can be a factor, but relationships are built on things we have in common and/or find interesting about the other person. Speaking strictly for myself, there's no way I'd contemplate a relationship with somebody who was physically attractive but had no intellectual life or character to them. It just wouldn't be appealing.
On the other hand, the kind of profile I'm referring to included dates and durations of various bits of education or living in certain places, as well as every hot beverage she liked and her favourite breakfast. It was too much detail. Far better to hint at a few things that inspire a potential suitor to ask questions, and let the rest be discovered. Y'know, be a bit mysterious? :o)
well yes food for thought , maybe i will give it a tweeking !! .....and i'm very aware its not all about looks (hope not anyway or i may aswell give up now ! ) but i think on these sites we do tend to go on the photo first i guess ...........or a least a nice smile .......some of the guys look like they've put on their i've just been arrested photo !! lol
Only meeting up will answer that. It would be lovely to be able to assess the match in an online risk free way, but it seems that we're wired for face to face contact.
its hard on here to get the correct balance of being a humble Christian and attractive guy or girl. If you "big" your self up ( even with genuine information) this still might make you seem to be trying to hard .
So the question is to guys and girls is less information better or worse ?
Like richard said the only way is to meet face to face
I don't see any problem in selling yourself as long as what you say is TRUE (see other thread). But if you spend too long saying how great you are it probably won't come across well!
As a man I am aware how the male brain functions. We scan all the photos very quickly and we pause over the one that seriously jumps off the page at us....and this is the starting point of the sift. Take a lead from the advertising industry which understands the psychology of having their product stand out in a competing market....and CC is a competitive market place.
Your prospective marriage partner is the biggest investment of your life and yet how many CCers just throw an old holiday snap on the file, where the face cannot be seen without inducing eyestrain. Men also have this vision, we are very visual in our thinking, of how your ''wife'' is going to look on the wedding day etc etc. An anorak and a woolly hat doesn't create the fantasy.
We all know women don't wake up all glammed up but the ones that create the illusion have the success I think.
Women have much more about them than visuals but this is the starting point.
Me. I'm too old but I find the boards fun
SO how far would / should you go in selling yourself?
If you have a life that you love, and simply want to involve another in that life especially if it is to serve God too, then how can you or should you 'sell yourself' or a better phrase may be 'market yourself'.
This question has made me question the viability of these online 'connection' sites. You can never really tell people about yourself and you cannot really tell what a persons character is like until you meet them.