How do you know if it's God's plan for you to be married?
That is a hard one isn't it. I wanted to remain single but it was God will that I marry. It was hard for me to accept that, but deep down I knew it was right. Now I am single again and have to work it through...
I know some people get married much later in life.
I am not sure that for most of us it is about God wanted us to be one way or the other. I think it is about us seeking God first and all else will fall into place one way or the other. Depending if you meet someone that you like or if you have the courage to act when you do.
Perhaps it is just hard for us to steer our minds away from man or woman kind?
Its a hard one But I actually think we just have to live the life we have and limit the time we spend searching.... That is one of the hard things about internet sites like this.
It's a difficult question. At my church there are several ladies and a couple of men in their late 40's who have never been married and have spent their lives in good, useful and interesting ways. Yet if you talk to any of them they would have love to have married and still would given the opportunity.
I sometimes (irrationally!) feel a bit guilty that I not only had 30 years of marriage, but have recently enjoyed 6 months of going out with a lovely man. It didn't work out because he has lost his faith, but it left me stronger and more confident that I can have another relationship.
I have heard some single people saying that they realise that they are too "set in their ways" and wouldn't want to share their life/home with someone else. Maybe it's time to accept being single when you feel like that?
I don't, by the way, otherwise I wouldn't be on here!
I'll give up on the possibility of getting married at the same time as I finally admit I'm never going to be a drummer in a famous rock band.
Right after the doctor signs my death certificate! (By that time I'll be talking to Jesus face to face anyway, so I won't mind.)
:o)
its my hearts desire to be married and God say's He gives us the desire's of our heart so i know one day i will be ....but i haven't put a time scale on it ..in Gods time not mine :)
was talking to a lovely lady who meet and married the love of her life in her 60's they are both very happy ...they may only have 20 years or so together but 20 years of bliss :)....
so i don't think we should ever give up ...but make Jesus our focus and not let it become a 'thing' ! :)
My mum's church is full of single women who have never been married or like my mum widowed. Its quite an epidemic. I don't think its God's plan. I believe it's their choice not God's or lack of confidence not to face the challenge of finding someone. If you ask them they would say it was Gods plan why they haven't found anyone but I believe that's a smoke screen.
Excellent post Dawn774
I kept trying to deceive myself into thinking I can be single like Paul, but the following scripture is so applicable to my life.
KJV
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn - 1 Corinthians 7:9
Weymouth NT
If, however, they cannot maintain self-control, by all means let them marry; for marriage is better than the fever of passion - 1 Corinthians 7:9
Still, it is so important to wait for the right one
KJV
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike - Proverbs 27:15
:)
To me its really challenging putting yourself out there to find someone you are constantly risking being hurt and experiencing rejection. This is too much for some people who are already hurting from past issues.
I could easily give up and hide myself under a large number of ministries and say that it is God's plan for me to be single and become a little Martha when all Jesus wants from us is to sit as his feet. Im not into the pretence. If I said Im like Paul and its a gift that Im single I would be lying to myself.
At least now if I don't end of finding someone I would know that I tried as I don't want to live a life of regret and wonder what would have happened if I just wore my heart on my sleeve a bit more.
I personally don't believe its fair to put the responsibility squarely on God's shoulders when we are more than capable of finding someone with his guidance of course.
Dawn 774 I'm not convinced that your view of your mums church and the ladies in it may not necessarily be the only way of seeing it.
A lot of those women you are talking about as we are all aware had very little opportunity to meet single Christian men. They probably didn't even think about using the internet which advertised social events/holidays or using it as a dating site. This is relatively a new idea in the sense of it being acceptable. They probably just had their own limited social grps where everyone was married and didn't even know any different or knew there was something different to even look for i.e. to look beyond that or to be more active. Most social activities would have been set up for youth not adults.
God is never limited by circumstance. However I do believe that we do need to be active and open up opportunities to meet others. That said I don't think that's a guarantee of anything either.
It's encouraging that everyone is so positive. I think that it is particularly hard for women. The bible says that Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV) So we sit there waiting to be found. Traditionally, men are supposed to seek women, so if the women in Dawn 774's mum's church didn't get many offers, then they probably didn't have many options. The situation still remains that there are not enough men to go around.
God said it is not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). It is sin to call it good.
I believe that this part of the scripture should be obeyed as much one would obey the scripture on water baptism. It is disobedience to remain single except for the reason stated in 1 Cor 7:35. And very rarely does God give a man or a woman a gift to remain single.
1 Corinthians 7:
7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
In 7th verse Paul gave his SUGGESTION and it is NOT a command. (note - I wish).
I can think of 2 main reasons why people decide to remain single (apart from God’s calling which is very rare).
Firstly, ignorance of scripture or disobedience to the scriptures. The above passages from 1 corinthians 7: 7 and 35 proves it.
Secondly, having a hard heart (1 Corinthians 7:4). They cannot become one flesh. Such people can date or be close friends. But they will not be able to obey (1 Cor 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.) in marriage. They cannot let God break them and blend them into being one flesh.
I believe marriage is not a matter to be ashamed of and it should be pursued as obedience to the scripture and boldly, especially when God opens our heart for someone. (I am not preaching what I haven’t practiced!) joke.
I think it is more important to obey the scripture (and get married or at least get engaged) than to wait for a particular form of ceremony / setting of marriage.
Hi Tara/sarah
I can see where you are coming from but I believe even without the Internet just waiting inside a church in the hope that a suitable partner would turn up is not good either. Even without the Internet they are other things you can do.
Another thing that makes it challenging is that women I've come across are not encouraged to tap into that feminine side of us that would make us feel and look attractive. Its seen as sinful.
I know a few elderly ladies from my church who never married. At what point should you realise that you should be single? Is it when you get to a certain age? When the clock has stopped ticking or will you never know?