help my arm is sleepy"!!!!!

27 posts / Last post: User 104157,
User131213

ok so my free trial is coming to and end, i have spent the last few days looking and reading at the profiles of some fantastic ladies and i have been waving lots and lots and my arm now really aches, what have i got for my efforts erm well not a lot really.

Now i am wondering is it too much effort for people to wave back or do people just not want to wave back.

I guess that if people like what they see then i would at least receive some waves guess the decision as to if full membership is worthwhile is answered for me.

the point of this post really is to ask is it rude to just ignore a wave or would it show you are interested in someone if you did...

just a thought xx

User119219

Hi Chris
I'm sorry to hear you have had no replies to your waves. I must admit I have hardly ever used waves as they don't say much except 'Hi', but I hardly had any replies to messages either. I think SOME people may read more into a wave than just 'Hi', but also they may not know whether you are just waving or whether you are interested in them. I sent out over 20 messages and had less than half replied to (nearly always a polite decline), but a couple were not even read. Now that IS rude.

I originally joined for 1 month and had little contact with anyone, except a lovely man called David who I thought was too old for me (out of the age group I was looking in) and lived too far away (I can't drive and he's about 50 miles away). I rejoined for a further 6 months and still had no replies to my messages, but I used these discussion boards a lot and got to know people quite well through them. If you decide to join it is well worth reading and posting on the boards as you can tell a lot about people by their posts, and you get a lot more profile views too. I've also made some lovely new friends this way who I remain in touch with by external email.

I have no need to look for anyone on CC any more. I eventually met up with David and things went so well that last Thursday he proposed. I am now engaged and really happy, although in the early days on CC I really didn't think I would find anyone.

My views of who I was originally looking for on here have changed and I think I limited my choice too much. David's age doesn't bother me now and we still meet up every weekend so distance - no problem.

Sorry, I've drifted away from the waves, but hope what I have said has helped in some way. I will pray that you make the right decision for youself about CC and that The Lord will lead you to your future partner as He has led me to mine.

God bless
Ann

P.S. I'm from Derbyshire too and I know there are quite a few members both male and female in Nottinghamshire. There are often walks arranged by CC members in The Peaks if you are interested.

Nicole154

If someone said hello to you in church - would you ignore it? I doubt it as it would be considered rude. The rules of internet contact seem to be different though I'm not sure why. I think good manners if nothing else would indicate a response even if its a polite "no"

at work 24/08/11 Aimee156

Hi Chris,

This is my first time writing on the discussion board!
I know how you are feeling. I have joined the dating site recently (3 month subscription) and have not had much luck. I too have emailed and waved and not always received any responses, but i have also received waves and messages and not always replied.

I appear to be popular with males 50 plus and they are not in my age group. I want children and so i have to be more specific with my age category. I have waved and replied to people in the past to be polite. It is hard because it can be seen as sending mixed messages. I replied to one guy thanking him for the message but explaining that i am looking for a male nearer my age: His reply was offensive and insulting, i am careful with who i reply to now.

I will continue to pray.
GBU

Congratulations Ann xx

User97657

Hi Chris,

Sorry your experience hasn't been great so far. I've been a member on and off for a while - this time I'm enjoying it, because I'm pretty chilled out, definitely open to just meeting the surprising (and often amusing!) variety of people here!

I very occasionally don't reply if I just forget i.e. don't log on and see messages or get distracted by something else, but in between the subscribing times I couldn't respond except to wave - I always felt that was a bit daft so didn't. CC have given profile members a standard response option now but I bet a lot of people haven't realised that is there.

The advice I would give - if you do decide to sign up don't let it take over your life or your self worth. It's just another way to meet some people, some of whom you click with and some you don't. Maybe you'll meet your soul mate, maybe you will learn some lessons and have some nice chats (this is where I have got to so far).

You are great and I'm sure will find some like minded people.

Becka

User101933

Chris

Different people are on this site for different reasons ....and the conduct of some of them make you wonder why they are on here in the first place. Some can't be bothered to respond to waves etc - even if if it a polite 'thanks but no thanks'. Others look at the distance and decline. (terribly boring but necessary for some|)

I still find it slightly (ever so) amusing that some guys think that because you have 'waved' at them it is tantamount to a proposition of marriage - and run a mile. It makes me smile. I guess it works both ways. Girls do the same..or so I am lead to believe!

People have different expectations and some set the bar way too high and others way too low!

Having said that, I have met and made some amazing friends on here - with only one or possibly two really negative experiences.

I guess I am trying to say don't be disheartened.

Relationships / friendships take time - the boards are a good way to get to know people.

And you know what Forrest Gump would say..'Life is like a box of chocolates...' etc. Rest your sleepy arm and use the other one for a while! You may be delightfully surprised when you least expect it.

Be blessed

Sally

User131213

awww thank you ladies my faith is being restored lol...... its great to know that the site works too ann well done and hope you enjoy your new relationship.

I think a wave is a good way to say hi and let people know that they have caught your eye ok it not really serve much of a purpose really and a message is better but its a start :)

User86065

Chris, it's not rude to ignore a wave - in fact it's unhelpful to wave back if you're not intending to have a conversation with the person. Waves work differently to emails - it's rude no to reply to an email, even if you're not interested in the person at all.

Jj621

And emails are more fun! :)

User94305

Thank you to all posters - useful stuff for us novices and encouraging as well. Stuart - why is it not rude to answer a wave? There is a handy 'no thanks' option for those who can't be bothered with anything else and at least the 'wave er' knows to move onwards and upwards.

I do feel that emails are more friendly and should always be answered, however late in the day due to not logging on, holidays or anything else. As with any conversation, general good manners should prevail and cost nothing. I waved at several people in my earliest days, all full members, none of whom had the courtesy to wave back or decline with a preset. Now I send short emails and even when the other person isn't wanting to continue the conversation, a short sentence, gently put is much appreciated.

Happy friend-making all.

User131213

i have to agree e-mails are more fun but only when you get a reply messaging to can be too

User104094

Yes Chris - ditch the wave - email!

Aimee156 - you have an absolutely fabulous profile! You did not deserve the offensive response, but instead deserve to be valued and honoured. It will happen.

User125414
This post was deleted at 22:38, Thu 22 Sep 2011 .
User105284

Hi,

I dont wave back at someone if I don't feel I have an interest in them as I wouldnt want to lead them on & I also add this on my profile & ask people not to wave back at me if they have no interest romanticly.

If I was to reply to everyone who waved I would be on the computer all night. If someone however takes the time to send me a message and I dont have an interest I do write back and let them know, although there's no easy way to put that :/

The key factor to remember is it's not rejection not to get a reply, it just means your suppose to be with someone else. Also, patience, if you walked into a new church, would be a long shot to meet someone within week... no differant from online.

User101933

But how can you decide on the basic information from their profiles that you are not interested in them romantically?

That's like jumping to the desert before you have even looked at the menu let alone had the starter course.

Its about building friendship, getting to know one another, and growing into either friendship or relationship or whatever.

I sense that we often miss opportunities to get to know some wonderful people - even if distance is an issue - simply because they are really good kind and caring people. It doesn't mean marriage, sex or tonsil hockey - just widening your social circle.

Unless of course your social circle is already perfectly formed in which case, why are you paying to widen it?

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