How to deal with christian hypocrites.......

29 posts / Last post: User 116017,

Anybody got any suggestions with how to deal with christian hypocrites who love to judge others whilst carrying the biggest plank you've ever seen in their own eye.

To speak or not to speak !


Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love. This is very difficult. Most of us either shy away from speaking the truth at all - put up with the obnoxious people to their faces and maybe whinge about them behind their backs, or else we speak the truth with no love at all and blow up at them. I know I've done both those many many times.

Instead, what I have to ask myself is what would I want other Christians to do for me if I were being hypocritical? Well, I hope I'd want them to show me how hurtful I was being and help me to grow into someone better. But I would want them to be gentle about it, and not humiliate me in front of everyone, or rage at me, or make me feel they despised me for it. I would want them to give me the benefit of the doubt and hope that I was doing it unknowingly, and that I didn't want to hurt anyone. I would want them to think of me as a fallen and hurting person making a mistake, not someone defined by that particular sin. And I would want them to take the time to listen to me and understand me before rushing in to confront me.

So I guess that's what I should do for others. I'm afraid it doesn't mean that's always what I do, though. Theory is always much easier than practice, isn't it?


Matt we're all hypocrites at some time or other....:-) That's why we need to show each other's not what we's what we do and guess what? We all have feet of clay...speaking the truth in love is very, very difficult church keeps telling us that if we think we are too gracious we probably aren' just leave them alone..or if it is getting too painful and hurtful to others and ourselves one has to very carefully and gently talk things through...but realising that all the time we are also in need of grace. I would really pray for the person ..prayer does change people's hearts...


Say what you think with a huge dose of forgiveness and humility. We're all hypocrites sometimes.


Thanks for that guys............the problem is that people won't listen without being offended. I think I will retreat so that they cannot hurt me again and concentrate on my relationship with God and move in my daily life outside the brotherhood. I'll find one person to read the bible with and leave it at that.


I think hypocrites often speak in a soft gentle voice, which suggests it is said with love.

I asked a woman at church if she would pray for me as I had decided to file for divorce, and she said so softly to her highland accent, "Mary don'.....t, he hasn't had reve.....lation yet (6 yrs later!). I replied by saying that I asked her to pray for me, not give her opinion (in love of course) I have forgiven her, but I don't know if that is reciprocated as she makes it clear that she doesn't approve of my decision

Not easy when you both teach Sunday school! But hey, it keeps life interesting.



A Bible verse which helped me is Romans ch 16 vs 17

"Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them."

It sounds a bit harsh but I have found that it's a good way to avoid hassle and the "do gooders"


Hi Matthew, it depends what it is I guess? What is it that's troubling you? Any specific example?


Dear Mathew - "hypocrites" is a very strong word to use about other people. Mathew you seem to me very hurt and offended

Like others have said we are all hypocrites in the sense we all fall short of the ideals we try to live up too - and by that assessment Im a very big hypocrite. The first place to look is not at other people but to look into our own hearts and daily ask forgiveness before God.

Also I think we all on CC need to think about our use of language and I think if we have criticisms we need to take great efforts to make clear we are judging the action rather than the person. And I think labelling and homogenising people those we disagree with is unhelpful (Timothy, this may sound harsh but labelling people 'do gooders' sounds harsh - Im sure many people so labelled do good - Wilberforce maybe for example). When people disagree with us we can react with strong emotion - that doesnt necessarily meant what the other person is saying is accurate or not, but often points to our own insecurities

To be honest one of the things about the board that I have found very dissapointing is the harshness of speech, by a minority of the contributors, and I wish the boards potentially can be a source of much greater shows of love, respect gentleness and tolerance. Many of us are facing tough times - so lets encourage each other and before casting the first stone, take a deep breath and look to our own actions first. And maybe sleeping on it before postng a reply :)


Do people think that hypocrite is the same as sin? Are they the same?


This is the definition for hypocrite:


Hypocrisy is a sin. It's not the only sin. There are plenty of others.


the Lord Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their hypocrisy see Matt ch 23 vs 13, 14 and 15

in 1 Peter ch 2 vs 1, 2 and 3

"Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking,

as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,

if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious."


I think its possible Matthew could be be mentioning this from a slightly different angle...

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings


As others have mentioned, there are hypocrites in all walks of life, but it stands out a bit more when they are Christians because we should be able to expect more from them.

One woman I know has done a lot of work for charity, and raised a lot of money, but, she needs constant thanks and praise for what she does. She is very critical of the work of others and litters every conversation with examples of her own good works. It makes her seem like a demanding martyr. I used to find it really distasteful, but I've learned to accept that she is a flawed, but ultimately well intentioned person. I smile through her attention seeking, and welcome the work she continues to do.

I think the key is - you can't control anyones behaviour except your own. As long as you are confident that your actions are true to your faith, you can only hope that they follow your example.

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