Christian couples living together
i think if you love someone it would be VERY hard to live together and stay in different beds,i know some couples who tried and ended up together in the end,my question would be if you love each other enough to live together why are you not married?Then your free to enjoy each other in all areas intead of keeping yourselves distant and frustrated.We may be christians but we're still human!
Good point Helen, love is a powerful thing and yes we are human. I'm sure that God would sense the feelings that one human could have for another......In fact, I wonder if it pleases him to see his children loving each other rather than dropping cluster bombs on each other, murdering each other and so on and so on
I believe there is a verse in one of Paul's letters "let there not be a hint of immorality among you". I.e. it's not enough not to sin, we have to be seen not to sin, because there will always be those who want to accuse us of it. I believe thats why Billy Graham has always worked hard to ensure he is never seen in any situation with a single woman (or indeed a married woman) where any inappropriate interpretation could be put upon it.
well said James. Satan is out there to kill steal & destroy. If he can find anything true or false against any christian then he will have a hay day. We do have to be seen to be Holy as well as being holy. Jesus looks for a bride without spot blemish or wrinkle. e.g. the scandal just released on National TV concerning a prominent Pastor in London. Even if this guy is entirely innocent the damage has been done. The world needs to see that we are different not just in words but in actions.
regards
Tim
Unless they make a point of telling absolutely everybody they meet that they are not (hardly practical!), of course everybody will assume the couple are not only 'sleeping together' but having a full sexual relationship. That's the message that 'two unrelated people living together' inevitably gives out in our sex-obsessed society - I had a problem with it myself a few years ago when I had a male lodger.
And unfortunately, no matter how inncent the actual relationship, it's still a case of what my church used to call 'giving scandal' - setting a bad example. If younger or newer Christians see older Christians in good standing apparently ignoring church teaching on sexual matters, they won't enquire into the details of the actual case, they will just suppose it must be OK and be encouraged to do themselves what they assume 'everybody else' does.
Risking leading other people into sin is a terrible responsibility.
"hold on to the good, avoid every appearance of evil" 1 Thess (I think).
The problem with a Christian 'couple' "living together" even if it's supposedly innocent, is that it gives the wrong impression. I cannot imagine putting myself in that situation without compromising. Nor can I imagine why anyone else would want to do it.
Well I hope I don't offend people on this site. But I have a cousin that has been living with his girlfriend for 10 years now and they have three children together. Obviously they are not practising Christians but they are believers and they are very happy together. I do think they should married for the children. But what really is the problem with two people living together? Just because you are not married does not mean you cannot stay together. And surely that is more non-hypocritical because you really want to stay together? Because at the end of the day you could be married and have an affair anyway! If you are committed to each other and want to stay together surely that is the most important thing. I see so many couples getting married at a young age and it lasting 2 or 3 years! Would you advocate divorce? What if you get married and you absolutely cant stand living with each other?
Come on mate, get a grip! Seems as though you're using current culture and society as an excuse to go against God.
This argument does come across as being very along the lines of, "If you're married you might sin, so you may as well start now!"
Sorry if I've misinterpreted it!
If people really really want to stay together, and believe that they should be together, what's the issue against getting married? It doesn't have to be an expensive or large occasion, but shows more commitment to a relationship than one where either partner can leave overnight.
Too right Nathan.
Antony919, I think the real issue here is - am I a Christ-owned person? It's about pleasing God and doing things according to His counsel. In this day and age, you can justify anything, absolutely anything. If it feels good - do it. If its not hurting anyone - carry on. If one has CHOSEN to submit the control of their life to God, they would accept His word as the final say, regardless of understanding.
I'm all for searching out reasons and questioning decisions (there ain't nobody question God the way and with the frequency I do) but I'm not so stupid (excuse me, no offense meant) that I would reject what the Bible clearly teaches as sin i.e. fornication. Even the times when I'm fed up and frustrated and my best friend tells me she's keeping me on a leash (lest I attack anything in trousers!), there is still that witness within me that says Don't.
When God puts a new heart in you, He makes it so that you respond to Him, not without question but DESPITE question.
Living in the same house doesn't have to mean sleeping in the same bed and that doesn't have to mean actual sex. You try being old and lonely and in need of companionship. Don't knock it.
I was talking about this thread to my dear old Papa (nearly 70) and his reply was "If you hold a carrot six inches in front of a donkey's nose, it ain't gonna be there for long!"
Being in the same house does not mean being in bed together, but Christians and secular folk do have a habit of putting the two together. If we are supposed to shine as lights in a dark world, shuld we really allow ourselves to fall into situations that can be interpreted as such?
However, sharing a house or flat with someone of the same sex can also be misinterpreted by one or two parties, as can living alone. What sort of world do we really live in?
Either nick820, who originally posted this question, is having a laugh on all of us (for reasons known only to him), or sadly his question (which is composed of two somewhat conflicting sentences) was just terribly worded.
He asked: “Why is it seen as a sin by many, for a christian couple to live together without being married?” The wording of this first sentence actually assumes a sexual relationship is going on between a “couple” who “live[s] together without being married.” Hence Antony919’s reply about his cousin’s living together with a girlfriend in an unmarried, sexual relationship; and all the appropriate Scriptural responses, which are "hold on to the good, avoid every appearance of evil" and "let there not be a hint of immorality among you".
Then to complicate further, the next question (or sentence) loses the sexual connection between the couple: “Or is it more the case that if a couple live together people just assume they must be sleeping together?” Hence Naomi622’s reply: “Living in the same house doesn't have to mean sleeping in the same bed and that doesn't have to mean actual sex. You try being old and lonely and in need of companionship. Don't knock it.”
Naomi, if you’re responding to the first sentence of Nick’s question, your response doesn't make any sense and appear out of place; however, if to the second sentence, your passionate point is appreciated, very sensible, and well taken.
Just to be specific, however, your point about a person being “old and lonely” - you didn’t elaborate, but assuming this “old and lonely” individual has a believing and mature and grown-up (single or married) son or daughter, then according to the Biblical command, “Honour your father and mother,” (the most basic meaning of this command is to take in and take care of your own parents when they’re old,) that son or daughter of this “old and lonely” person you talked about should take unto to his or her own home that “old and lonely” parent.
Dear Nick,
Please clear up the confusion, and tell us exactly what you mean, or this discussion is going to end up having Antonys responding to your first sentence, and Naomis, to the second; and others, just confused.
Cheers mate, Josh
Why is it seen as a sin by many, for a christian couple to live together without being married? Or is it more the case that if a couple live together people just assume they must be sleeping together?